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March, 2013  

The H-Boyz!

After the release of issue #1, Blake and I found ourselves, unexpectedly, buried in a sea of disposable cash (this is Clay narrating, by the way, because Blake is a fucking illiterate retard who can't type). A major comic book publisher, which we can't name for fear of litigation, gave us a sizable advance. This publisher was so impressed with issue one that they presented us with a contract.

They also gave us a significant cash advance. This is where they seriously fucked up.

All these black-suit-wearing marketing graduates made the absurd assumption that our exploits were in jest. No two people could invest this much time and effort into BRAGGING about actions so deviant and repellant! Surely, this is all the fictional hyperbole of two creative minds!

Fucking wrong! The ink was hardly dry on our check before we went to an all-night liquor store to cash it. What followed was a blinding two year swath of narcotics, alcohol and prostitutes. When our meager cash reserves ran dry and the fog of intoxication lifted, the comic book studio was demanding a progress report on the comic(s).

We hadn't put pencil to paper once nearly two years. Haw! Fuck "Tha Man"!

Long story short, after a particularly embarrassing news report concerning our implication in a ring of transvestite, devil worshipping cocaine distributors, the publisher wanted no association with us. They negated our contract, leaving us as free agents again.

So, here we are, independent and blissfully free of corporate control.

Buy Issue #2, you unappreciative pricks. Buy another copy of Issue #1, while you're at it. We have mounting court fees and we're both horribly dope sick.

Until next time, Addicts!

- Blake and Clay Hatrison
The H-Boyz

 

Greetings, Addicts! Clay and Blake Hatrison here for a very long-overdue update to the rock 'n roll, sequential art experience you've come to know and despise as The H-Boyz! The digital wave forms of the internet have been calm for far too long. We're here to bring a typhoid of death rock chaos. You've all been desperate for a sweet fix of the wretched, booze soaked bedlam that you crave.

Well, it's finally here! After failed visits to rehab, several near fatal overdoses, lapses of sanity and narcotic binges that threatened to upset the Mexican economy, it's finally here!

Issue Number 2 of the H-Boyz, Fuckers!

Feast your bloodshot eyes on the glorious cover, Addicts.

The H-Boyz Issue 2

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July, 2011  

An unholy amount of work has gone into bringing our dreadful vision to life, Addicts. You've no concept of the labor we've endured towards the almost impossible goal of entertaining you unappreciative douche bags. The concentration and zen like calm of mind required to conceptualize lyrics like "American Whore", "Fist Fight'n Fugger" and "Fuck Ya Where Ya Shit" robbed hours of sleep from our weary brains. Sure, the mountain of amphetamines that we ingest didn't exactly help with bed rest, but at least the time awake was productive.

Blake plays his guitars ceaselessly, until blood trickles from his throbbing fingers. He mixes our songs with the delicate love only a parent can impart to their child. Meanwhile we both contribute artwork for the comic that will act as an autobiography of our heinous exploits.

So far our efforts to secure a publisher brave enough to bring our work into printed and mass produced aural form have been fruitless. See, they're all a bunch of a ball-less fucking pussies. "Your art sucks", they'll say. "This shit is terrible", they'll sneer. "Stop writing me or I'm going to put out a restraining order!" they'll snarl.

Well FUCK 'EM! Fuck the mainstream and fuck anyone who still reads comics about men in tights who fly around like nut swallowing good samaritans. Fuck anyone who listens to the pre-digested industry swill that masquerades itself as music. THIS is the real shit, my Addicts. The music and artwork of the H-Boyz is the true voice of the disaffected, angry masses. We cannot be stopped.

Keep it tuned right here, Brothers and Sisters, 'cause shit is fit'n to get fuck'n ugly!

Hello you sick fuck, degenerate drug fiends. Blake (B-Boy) and Clay (Demon Child...speaking) here! Together we form the nefarious duo known as the H-Boyz! At the moment, you may be asking yourself "Who are these fucking assholes anyway, and how did I manage to end up at this site when I was looking for videos of public sodomy and dog screwing?"

Well, what you've happened upon is better my beloved "friendemies". The H-Boyz represent a new era in underground comix, hateful music and the proliferation of the dont-give-a-fuck, DIY aesthetic. We are the new overlords of the underground, and we command you to kneel before your death rock gods.

Equal parts band, artist and monolithic mainstream hate machine, the H-Boyz have fucking arrived, 'lil bitches. We are gonna rock your bowels loose with death rock thunder, melt your frontal lobes with our tortuous comic book visuals and transmogrify your very souls with our acid drenched prose.

So plug in and let the sickness begin, Addicts! And keep your crusty peepers tuned to this site for all the latest updates on the world of the H-Boyz.

A new day has arrived and now NUTH'N will ever be the same.

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