day of reckoning is almost upon you all. This unspeakable,
insipid, entertainment addicted, degenerate infestation
called the "human race" will suffer unparalleled.
The crust of this useless s**t ball will be scorched
lifeless. Flesh will become fused to bone as your screams
rise in unison - a delightful cacophony of woe.
Oh, forgive me. I have not properly
introduced myself. I am Seth Yalk.
DAMMIT I DESPISE YOU simian, knuckle-dragging
fist humpers. The irony of my current, pathetic state
is that there was a time when I actually felt affection
for you people. No more.
I was once an intergalactic anthropologist.
My crew members and I were hired to document the behaviors
of various lifeforms for the purpose of entertainment.
Earth held a particular fascination for our viewers.
While filming the mating habits
of your sickeningly unevolved race, our engines malfunctioned
and the ship crashed. My colleagues were vaporized
instantly, but amid the flaming debris, your governmental
investigators made a grisly discovery - my gnarled
remains. My cortex was placed in a bubbling vat of
Luckily I had just completed a correspondence
course in telepathy and astral projection. Like a
neural broadband connection, I scan your psyches.
Know what I've learned? You all f***ing suck and you
deserve to die horribly.
At first my experiments in possession
were voyeuristic at best. Recently I have perfected
complete (yet temporary) control over my chosen meat
puppets. The pathetic, whiny author of this website
is my newest conquest.
The moment of possession is hilarious.
The subject convulses like a suffocating flounder,
ejecting pints of blood from their nostrils and often
looses all bowel control. Several hours later they
regain consciousness with no knowledge of how I've
I will be abusing this sad bundle
of limbs for my own ends until his frail mind expires.
I will be educating you slobs about the universe around
you. What I have to tell you is terrifying, and I
silently giggle at the forethought.