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The day of reckoning is almost upon you all. This unspeakable, insipid, entertainment addicted, degenerate infestation called the "human race" will suffer unparalleled. The crust of this useless s**t ball will be scorched lifeless. Flesh will become fused to bone as your screams rise in unison - a delightful cacophony of woe.

Oh, forgive me. I have not properly introduced myself. I am Seth Yalk.

DAMMIT I DESPISE YOU simian, knuckle-dragging fist humpers. The irony of my current, pathetic state is that there was a time when I actually felt affection for you people. No more.

I was once an intergalactic anthropologist. My crew members and I were hired to document the behaviors of various lifeforms for the purpose of entertainment. Earth held a particular fascination for our viewers.

While filming the mating habits of your sickeningly unevolved race, our engines malfunctioned and the ship crashed. My colleagues were vaporized instantly, but amid the flaming debris, your governmental investigators made a grisly discovery - my gnarled remains. My cortex was placed in a bubbling vat of protoplasm.

Luckily I had just completed a correspondence course in telepathy and astral projection. Like a neural broadband connection, I scan your psyches. Know what I've learned? You all f***ing suck and you deserve to die horribly.

At first my experiments in possession were voyeuristic at best. Recently I have perfected complete (yet temporary) control over my chosen meat puppets. The pathetic, whiny author of this website is my newest conquest.

The moment of possession is hilarious. The subject convulses like a suffocating flounder, ejecting pints of blood from their nostrils and often looses all bowel control. Several hours later they regain consciousness with no knowledge of how I've abused them.

I will be abusing this sad bundle of limbs for my own ends until his frail mind expires. I will be educating you slobs about the universe around you. What I have to tell you is terrifying, and I silently giggle at the forethought.

-sEtH yAlK